You are walking a long and hurtful path. You know loss. You know grief. You know loneliness.

Your courage and heart continue to amaze me. I stand in awe of you … at times taking for granted the darkness you have seen … but so in awe of the Light you are shining into those dark places {read John 1:1-9 … go ahead, read it!}.

Tay … precious Tay … you. are. beautiful.

You were made for so much more than this.  You are. so much more than this.

If all else in this world fades and let’s you down … always remember … you are treasured … you are sacred … because you are His.

You are beautiful.

And I love you … always and forever … no. matter. what!

Beautiful
:: MercyMe ::

The days will come when you don’t have the strength
When all you hear is you’re not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they’d see too much

:: chorus ::
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You’re beautiful

I’m praying that you have the heart to find
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you’ve held inside so long
They are nothing in the shadow of the cross

:: chorus ::

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You’re the one He madly loves
Enough to die

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
In His eyes

:: chorus ::

You’re beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His …

I’ve never really talked about Taylor’s boyfriend on the blog before … but I think it’s time.  I took these photos of them last week and sure, I’d like to show the beauty of them to you … but what I’d like to share, is the beauty inside these two kids.

We met KP and his family over a year and a half ago in Exuma.  While on our sabbatical for the month, I was determined to make sure we got to church on a regular basis.  Turns out the church we found and attended was founded by KP’s family.

They were regular folk {yes, folk} living in the northeast when they felt God place a calling on their lives.  So they obeyed and started a ministry planting churches in the islands and as divine planning would have it, the first church they started was in Exuma!

This family has been the most incredible blessing to me.  I love, love, love how God, in all His infinite wisdom, works!

I’m thinking I don’t have to explain how Tay and KP were attracted to each other … :)  But what I love, love is the beauty these two possess inside.  They both realize that God has a plan for their lives and they strive to follow that plan everyday.

You know how in relationships you should seek to be with people that make you better?  I see that in these two.  But even a step further than that, I’m so thankful they both have a relationship with God and help each other be better in Him.

I’d like to share something …

I wasn’t ready for this relationship.  I wasn’t intentional in talking to Taylor about my expectations of when she’d be allowed to have a boyfriend.  In all honesty … it happened much sooner than I was prepared for.  And sure, technically I’m the parent and could’ve put a stop to it … but there was something too special about this boy … and his family … that I fell in love with.

I wrote this post about them over a year ago and their character and values couldn’t be more true today.  In fact, I feel like they’ve only deepened that commitment.

I believe that God has ordained this relationship … and although I don’t know what the future holds for them, I’m so thankful they have the high standard of each other to live up to.

Anyway … this week, I’m reposting and sharing some of my thoughts on parenting and I wanted to include these thoughts as well.

In the end, it turns out I’m thankful for this sudden, unprepared and unexpected relationship.

KP has been a rock for Taylor during these last few months.  His family has been interceding in prayer on our behalf.  Taylor’s sisters can see, and maybe measure what a relationship with a godly boyfriend looks like.

That said … the other thing I’m thankful for and have now learned … is that I need to be intentional with the little girls in what our expectations are for them in future relationships.  I’ve realized that I need to have small, but intentional conversations with them starting now.  I also need to be better about praying over their future spouses.

I trust God has a plan for each of my girls lives … and it’s my job as their parent to pray over that plan, to disciple them in that plan, and to continue to hold fast to that plan.

Piper’s heart has been heavy since we’ve moved.  Not all the time.  But it’ll surface from time to time and we’ll pray, talk, and do our best to work through it.  She came home from church a few weeks ago with a prayer request so dear to her heart.  It moved me to tears.  She made two copies and I keep one in my Bible so I can help her to pray over her need.

She’s also taken to writing on her hand a daily reminder that God has a plan for her life.

Last week something came up that troubled Piper and I asked her if she’d like to pray about it.  I don’t know if words can adequately describe what I saw … her big, brown, sad eyes immediately flickered with joy and came to life as she said “yes,” she’d like to pray with me.

It fills me with absolute joy to know my girls believe in the power of prayer.

Taylor will often text me asking for prayer for one thing or another that’s on her heart.

As I’ve said many times … sometimes I feel like I’m failing in having “great big teaching moments” with them, only to realize it’s in these precious quiet times … requests for prayer or something as simple as playing Christian music through the house … that I’m reminded again and again … relationship deepens with everyday walk, everyday talk … an everyday way of life.

Taylor said to me recently that one thing she loves is that I play the music I do through the house.

And Piper told me recently that she likes to lay out a blanket on her bedroom floor and lay there to rest because she can hear the music coming into her room from the kitchen below her and it makes her happy.

Taylor also said something recently that stopped me in my tracks … the words buried deep into my heart.  Taylor has been faced with some very difficult life struggles {putting it lightly}, yet because of a relationship with her Savior, yet because at her core she knows what grace and forgiveness look like … she said to me {regarding her circumstance}, “You know, in a way I’m kind of glad it happened … because it’s brought me closer to God.”

Her heart is pure.  God has shown up and wrapped Himself around her … in ways I’ll never understand.  It’s taken me 38ish years to get here and she sees Him at 16!?!

Because most people are looking at our situation through the world’s eyes … they don’t believe or understand how she could be looking at her situation through eternal eyes.  I suppose, though, that’s not for me to try to understand.

And then I have my little 5 yo … we were in the middle of devotion recently and it was pressed upon my heart to ask Hunter if she’d like to invite Jesus to live inside of her.  I explained what it meant and she said yes … she would like to invite Jesus to live inside of her.  And as she repeated the words back to me, it was the sweetest, most precious prayer a mom could ever hear!  Her sisters were there, ready with the high-fives, while sweet tears welled in my eyes.

Yes … ours is an eternal perspective.  A perspective that makes me one happy mommy!  But more importantly … our Father must be one happy Daddy!

She’s back in the saddle!!

It’s been just about four years since Taylor’s last horse show … but she’s back in the saddle full speed ahead!  She’s got a new buddy {Cozmo, as in Universe} and a new trainer.  Actually two trainers, a dressage and an eventing trainer.  Her eventing trainer boards at the same barn as Taylor and noticed her riding, so approached us to see if we’d be interested in training with her.  She sees potential in the two {Taylor + Cozmo} and is excited to see them get stronger together.

Taylor’s discipline in riding is eventing.  Eventing is comprised of three disciplines which take place in one “event” during a weekend.  The three disciplines are dressage {flat work, or walk; trot; canter}, stadium jumping {in an enclosed arena}, and cross-country {which takes place in an open field with a series of “natural” jumps}.

Anyhoo … just a little background knowledge if you’re not into the horse world. ;)

So … Taylor’s eventing trainer is pushing her to start showing.  Pushing in a good way … Taylor’s all over it!  This past weekend was a “schooling” show, which is a show, but it’s not a recognized event, so people go to feel things out, train their horse at a show and basically get their feet wet.  They still get scores and it’s still a regular show … but unlike with a recognized event, their scores don’t get recognized with the riding association they belong to.  Following? cuz I’m not sure I am.

Okay, back to the schooling show this weekend … it was a combined test, which means it wasn’t all three disciplines, just two.  She had dressage and stadium.  And then we were going to “school” cross-country the next day … which basically means you pay to use their cross-country course for practice.  It’s not even part of the event.

Whew.

Still with me?

A little more background … Taylor’s strong point is usually cross-country.  Dressage isn’t at.all.  But it also depends what your horse’s best events are too.  And Taylor’s previous horse pretty much sucked at dressage, which is why we called him Jumping Jasper.

Anyway … the lower your dressage score, the better you’ve done.  Taylor would usually end up with 70′s on her dressage score … and this past weekend?  A 32.4!!  And she took first place.

Well … technically you say it like this, “Taylor was in first place after her dressage test.”

Because then you go on to your next discipline to see what you score there and where you place.  But …

Tay had some technical difficulties going into stadium.  First of all the heat!  She.has.not. acclimated to the heat here.  Plus the show was in South Carolina, which seemed to be about 10 degrees warmer!  And second, her horse was being a KaRrazie man!  He would take a jump and start bucking all over the place!  Taylor has a bottom made of glue … she always has … seems she can stick just about anything, but man was I nervous watching this!

So she made the very wise, tough, but mature decision to withdraw and not jump stadium, which basically means she scratched.  It was a hard day for her, not without a few tears … but at the end of the day, she really made some great decisions and was ready to get back on him the next day to work through some of it.

Aren’t they pretty?  Or is it just me? ;)

I forgot how much work is involved in the horse show world!  Starting with hitching and pulling the trailer.  And not that I’m pulling the “MS card” … but it’s a whole lot different doing it when your body isn’t whole.  I won’t go into the list of issues I had {with MS} this weekend, I’m just noting that it seems doubly difficult.

And a horse show can be hard work for the littles too!  It was something like 95+ degrees.  Boring.  A long day.  A long car ride.  A lot of setting up and sitting around.  But these littles were AMAZING this weekend!  Absolutely amazing.  Could’ve had something to do with big-bro in town … but seriously, I was so proud of them!

It was about a 3 hour drive this weekend for us.  We’ve got two more coming up that are six-plus hours … and then we’ll be back to this one again in August.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that these girls are this good for the rest of the show season!  Helps to have a box full of snacks, games, activities and drinks!

I love these girls with everything inside of me!  I’m so proud of Taylor for finding her passion again … this time with maturity on a whole different level.  And I’m so proud of her sisters for supporting her and understanding this is something important to Tay …

Huntie and I shared a room this weekend … I was in the bed next to her watching her slowly give way to sleep.  At one point, before she was fully out, she opened her eyes, looked at me, smiled a sleepy smile and finally gave in.  Such a precious, precious moment … there is nothing like watching your baby sleep peacefully.

All-in-all, I ended the weekend one happy mama!

My sweet girl turned sixteen yesterday …

So many emotions and feelings I have.  Like how did I wake up one day to find a sixteen year old in front of me?  In my mind, she’s still this little girl.  And oh how I wish I could go back to those days of the “collapsible pout” and noodles every night for dinner.

My precious, precious Tay.  So many words I want to share … yet, somehow they’re alluding me.  I can’t seem to wrap my mind around many things these days {evident in my lack of posts}.  And now I sit stumped thinking of a way to express the deep and tender love I feel for this child.

You know the saying that goes something like “they’re watching when you don’t know they’re looking?”  I think that’s been the case with this one.  So many values and beliefs I’ve tried to instill in her … things I would beat myself up wondering if she was “getting it.”  Only to wake up one day to realize she had in fact been listening and watching.  And man … has she gotten it!

I am so proud of this girl.  So proud.  I think back to some of my favorite posts of her … like this one … and this one {from her birthday last year} … and realize there isn’t too much more I can add.

Taylor you are growing into a beautiful, beautiful young woman.  And I don’t mean your outward appearance … I’m talking about the beauty that lies within you.  Beauty you’re revealing amongst the most difficult of situations.  Others may not understand the grace, forgiveness, and beauty that lives within you … but your Savior does, and truly He’s the only one that matters.

I love you precious girl …

And now for the gifts!!  During some recent reading for the MODsquad, I came across an idea that I’ve decided to do with all my girls.  Taylor made a commitment to stay pure until marriage, and to honor that I decided to give her special gifts that not only speak to her commitment, but also lead to the importance of the commitment and her wedding day.

Think “something old; something new; something borrowed; something blue.”  First up and just in time to mark her sweet sixteen … something old.

I haven’t seen my real dad since I was nine years old, but I had an old worn cameo necklace from him that I’d saved.  I didn’t have the chain anymore … just a decrepit looking cameo.  But! the jewelry store was able to spruce it up and put it in a beautiful ring setting and I gave it to Taylor explaining it’s purpose … and she’s treasuring it!

Another idea I got from Stacey at the MODsquad, was to put together a book of affirmations for Taylor.  Stacey did it for one of her daughters and I thought it would be a perfect way to mark Taylor’s sixteenth!  I enlisted the help of family and friends to send any memories, encouragement or scripture that they wanted to share with Taylor.

Taylor loved it!  She poured over every word and read memories she had forgotten about.

And last but not least … Taylor got a new best friend!!  And dare I say … she’s in love!?

Happy sweet sixteen my beautiful love …

:: subscribe to {tsj} photography :: join me on twitter :: find me on facebook :: design with me on pinterest ::

:: subscribe to {tsj} photography :: join me on twitter :: find me on facebook ::

CJ took the 3 littles to Arizona to the rock show down there.  I’ve gone one year and it’s incredible!  Seriously incredible!  By rock, I’m talking gems, geodes, meteorites, fossils {do you own a slab of dinosaur poop? cuz I do!}, crystals, etc. etc.  Anyway, my mother-in-law is nuts over this stuff and has passed on that love to CJ and the girls.

So yeah.  They’re in Arizona, while Taylor and I are hanging out at home.  Truth is … I had a weekend scheduled at the lake with my besties … but I decided to cancel and hang home with my mini-me instead.  We’re just a few hours into our weekend … but it warms my heart to be here with her.

We just finished a movie {Secretariat}, and din-din from take-out boxes … and now we’re sitting with laptops appropriately positioned on our … laps.  And a cute reveal … she’s browsing my blog right now … upset that “her” last post was months ago.  And that the category random is bigger than her category {Taylor}.  And “wink, wink” {yes she winked at me}, was I going to be writing a blog post about her anytime soon?

So … this one’s for you kid!

Tay … precious Tay … you. are. beautiful.

You were made for so much more than this.  You are. so much more than this.

If all else in this world fades and let’s you down … always remember … you are treasured … you are sacred … because you are His.

You are beautiful.

And I love you … always and forever … no. matter. what!

Beautiful
:: MercyMe ::

The days will come when you don’t have the strength
When all you hear is you’re not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they’d see too much

:: chorus ::
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You’re beautiful

I’m praying that you have the heart to find
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you’ve held inside so long
They are nothing in the shadow of the cross

:: chorus ::

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You’re the one He madly loves
Enough to die

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
In His eyes

:: chorus ::

You’re beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

:: subscribe to {tsj} photography :: join me on twitter :: find me on facebook ::

:: subscribe to {tsj} photography :: join me on twitter :: find me on facebook ::

For Piper it was the healing of our puppy Pebbles.  Pebbles was paralyzed and spent about 3 months in a rehabilitation center this summer.  And when Pebbles finally came home, he still couldn’t walk.  We got wheelies for him, but that was a pain in the butte!  He couldn’t control his bladder or bowel and that didn’t make for a very happy CJ {our pooper-picker-upper and chief dog caretaker … and sure, someone else could take over, but he’s over our shoulder telling us we don’t do it right and he redoes it and so … well … we just let him do it}.

Anyway … when Pebbles came home, he had no use of his back end.  But that didn’t stop us from praying, in fact, the girls still continue to include him in our prayers … and … he’s been healed!  He still has a way to go to be “normal” … but he’s using his hind legs for walking now {most of the time}, and his indoor messes are fewer and far between!  What a blessing for Piper to be able to recall a visible answer to prayer and then to document it for us to look back and see how God is working in our lives.

After our 2010 Reflections, I had each one think about their 2011 Intentions. Aren’t I tricky for including them in my 2011 word?

I pray for them to be intentional about their lives.  About the way they live.  The way they play.  The way they form relationships.  About devotion and prayer time.  About their relationship with their Savior.

So I asked each one of them what they would like to focus on for 2011, and each of them gave me answers … although, her sisters helped out with Hunter’s.

I also asked the girls to think about a Scripture verse that would be their very own Scripture for 2011.  We would memorize it, reflect on it, pray on it, and live it out.  Piper and Wynter picked theirs based on their favorite SEEDS songs … although Wynter’s really applies to her and we use it often when she’s getting anxious.  I gave Taylor’s hers … she picked out a different verse, which was nice, but she picked it cuz she “liked it” … and I really wanted their verses to be meaningful to them.  And Hunter’s … well, based on her 2011 intention to “try to stop whining” {which the girls told her to say} and based on where she’s at in her little four year old life … I picked hers.  ;)

Taylor :: Jeremiah 29:11
Taylor has a tendency to view the world as being against her in a “glass half-empty” kind of way.  My prayer for Taylor has been that she think outside of her own world and instead, try to find her place in God’s bigger picture for her.  I’ve seen some progress in her this past year and look forward to continuing this “lesson” with her.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Piper :: Psalm 34:10
Piper a lot of times cries when she doesn’t get her way or doesn’t get something she wants.  And although, she picked this verse for herself, it really brings home the message I’ve been trying to instill in her … to place her treasures on heavenly things.  I’m looking forward to continuing to explore this verse with her.
The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Wynter :: Philippians 4:6&7
Wynter … well Wynter, as I’ve mentioned before, is my nervous-anxious girl.  She tends to let too many things get her to thinking too deeply, and sometimes too darkly than I think is healthy.  I can’t wait to see how the Lord uses these words to bring peace to Wynter’s heart.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God.

Hunter :: Ephesians 6:1
Ohhhh … and my little Huntie!  I think the verse itself pretty much sums it up for her!
Children obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do.

I’ve not done this before with the girls, but I’m really excited to see what this intentionality brings to their lives, their hearts and their relationship with God.