Taylor officially started on her courses on Tuesday.  She’s doing a complete online {Christian} homeschooling program.  Everything she does is online.  Her tutorials, “books,” tests, quizzes, homework, writing assignments … they’re all done online and submitted directly online.  Seems easy enough, right?  I touted that I would “just be keeping her on task.”  Yeah.

Fortunately, there is a suggested planner-type thing that lays out her coursework for the quarter, but seriously, it’s a lot more than I anticipated making sure that we’re staying on course.  Taylor’s been great, though, at finishing her assignments and even working ahead to the next day.

I think the hardest part is that my time isn’t my time anymore.  In my mind, she would be doing her schoolwork and I would be doing my work.  Instead it goes a little something like this, “mom, I need help … mom, my printer isn’t working … mom, i don’t understand this … mom, what’s for lunch … mom, can you spend some time with me … mom, whatcha doing?”

But that’s the sacrifice I signed up for … and honestly … bring it on!

I found a great Christian homeschooling planner and the following popped out at me the other day {reasons why a mom chose to home school}:

Parents need not deprogram or reteach values the child hears for seven hours a day.
They have the child’s full attention at any time of the day and can give him full
attention; he is not absorbing two different value systems daily.

There were other things mentioned that speak to having all your children home and how the family unit bonds in that … makes me kinda wanna home school all the girls!  Anyway.  What I mention here is exactly why I’ve got Taylor at home with me.

She’s doing devotion daily {something that I’ve let slip with her}.  I was able to tell her yesterday how proud I am of her … “why?” she asked … and I was able to list out five things that made me proud.  She’s been riding during the day.  She applied for a volunteer position at a local pet store.  We’re able to have lunch together and talk.

I know there’s sacrifice involved … I knew that going in … and I know we’ve got lots of adjusting and figuring out our way … but ultimately, at this moment … my heart couldn’t be happier.  And I’ve got a strong feeling … hers either.

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Taylor started riding when she was four years old.  We were on a trip to Ireland, decided to go horseback riding and Taylor was instantly hooked!  When we got home she started lessons almost right away and her passion for the sport only got stronger and stronger.

{Taylor :: 8 years old}

Taylor stopped riding about a year ago.  But on our recent trip to Ireland, guess what we did?  And guess who’s hooked?

It was beautiful watching her ride again.  It was just like old times … her whole face lights up when she’s on the back of a horse.  Seems she didn’t forget a thing …

Seems I didn’t either … there’s this feeling I get taking photos of her riding.  Somehow hard to explain, but almost like we’re one … her, the horse, and my lens.  I think my passion for photography got strongest when she was riding.  It was a great thrill to snap the shutter just as she was mid-air and flying over a jump.

I even had a riding website for Taylor and it’s still active if you care to take a look-see.  I browsed through it yesterday … and all those memories seem like mere moments ago.  It reminds me once again that we have them for but mere moments.  We need to remember to cherish, enjoy and make memories while we can …

This post is linked up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky

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When I bumped into this earlier in the week, I knew it would be perfect and scrambled to get it together for the girls.  I was worried they would think “huh?”  But they totally loved it.  They gathered all their little things together and sat around me, picking up each item as we read the corresponding note to go with it.  Piper even taped her little cards to her bed.

Um, yeah.  Hunter’s been our little fashionista lately.  This headband is a photo prop, but she’s sort of claimed it as her own.  She even wore it to school yesterday … Lord, help us!  But I s’pose, if anyone can pull it off, my cutie pie can!

And here are my girlies on their first day of school.  Well … actually, Taylor hasn’t started yet.  I’m running into some glitches and red tape in getting her curriculum, but hopefully sometime next week she’ll be starting.  It’s been nice having her hanging around with me though!

Hope your school year is off to a great start!  Oh! and those Ireland photos I threatened promised you? hopefully next week … things have been a wee bit unexpected {with a tad of crazy thrown in} around here!

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Some people were hoping my teaser last week meant that CJ has been saved … I’m sorry to report that’s not the case … yet!  I still believe that he will be … unfortunately, I have to be patient and wait for God’s timing on that one.

But … I am happy to report that CJ has agreed to letting me homeschool Taylor.  I even think he’s a little excited about it!  If you know CJ, and the relationship he has with Taylor … you know this is a miracle!

We had an appointment with Taylor’s counselor to talk about homeschooling her.  CJ was.not on board.  I won’t bore you with all the ugly details, but one quote from him was, “let’s understand here that Taylor isn’t a girl with special needs.”  To which the counselor replied, “no, but she is a special girl with needs.”  {loved that!}.

Again … I won’t go into all the ugly details, but to nutshell it … CJ thinks Taylor gets whatever Taylor wants, that she’s manipulative, spoiled, coddled, and the list goes on.  So he fights tooth & nail {where did that saying ever come from!?} to go the opposite direction to make sure she doesn’t get what she wants.

CJ and I see a counselor ourselves, so we called an emergency meeting with her.  I listed all my reasons for wanting to homeschool Taylor.  He gave all his reasons why we shouldn’t.  The counselor, of course, stated we both had valid reasons and that one of us would have to give.  Her exact words were, “one of you is going to have to love the other enough to sacrifice your wishes.”  I spoke up and said that I absolutely love CJ enough that I would forgo homeschooling her.  But what hurts most is knowing my husband doesn’t feel the same way.  He said nothing.  And that was the end of our session.

And it was date night.  Never schedule a counselor appointment on date night.

We spent the first half of dinner not speaking.

Then we talked.  CJ agreed that I know Taylor best and he would do his best to “accept” homeschooling.  I told him I need more than that because {based on our history}, I didn’t want him to end up resenting me or Taylor.  We talked and talked.  He asked if there was something he could do to show me he would really try.  I asked him to read two books.  The first, “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.”  He read it in 4 days.  As he was reading, I was praying that God would open his heart.  He did.

CJ even bought a book on his own, “Homeschoolers’ College Admissions Handbook.”  Again, if you knew us, our family dynamics and our history … you’d understand how huge that is!

{CJ & Taylor :: 2001}

I think this might be the last photo of them I have together like this.  It breaks my heart to know that Taylor has experienced this loss {their relationship} as well.  But … I suppose that’s another post.

Anyway.  I wanted to share that my goal for Taylor this year go beyond her academics.  My goal is to educate her heart.  And I truly believe CJ is beginning to understand how important this is and how it just may be a new beginning for Taylor … for all of us really.

CJ works mostly from home and cherishes the time he and I have together.  He’s made many mentions of us “starting a new life once Taylor leaves for school {college}.”  And yeah … that’s another whole post.  But I wanted to share that, to show how having her home for homeschooling is sacrificing on so many levels of our family life.

Anyway.

I would like to share some changes in CJ since we’ve met.  When we met, he was pretty much agnostic … almost to the point of being an atheist.  Granted … I wasn’t anywhere near in my faith as I am today.  That said, I’d like to list out where he’s at today:

• He talks about sin, and what’s right or wrong … almost quoting the bible and having a higher standard for Christians.  He’s very much aware of what behavior should be expected from Christians.
• He made mention of God the other day … and then corrected himself and said, “I mean your God.  I guess it would be my higher power.”
• He’s starting to volunteer to pray every once and a while at mealtime.
• He made a point of making sure that we said a prayer for Ariel before she died.  And the next day, made a point of getting me {I stayed in the house with Piper} to come outside and say a prayer before her burial.

Keep praying for us … I know God has BIG plans for our family!

This post is linked up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky

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Anyhoo.

We were supposed to go on a camping trip last week, but I begged asked CJ to let us just stay home and chill.  He agreed.

And although we’ve had some activities in these few weeks … we mostly have been pretty chill.  And peaceful.  Exactly the feeling I wanted to get out of this summer.

I’ll start off with mention of a fun afternoon with this sweet friend and her kiddos coming up to visit and swim with us for the day.  And would you believe we didn’t take a single photo!?

And … remember these little guys?  This summer, we turned our garden into a turkey-growing-pen … and then had a turkey-release-party to let them go into the wild.  We live on a lot of acreage and actually have other wild turkeys {naturally} on the property.  Anyway.  That was 3 weeks ago and they still won’t leave.  They sit right outside our windows and doors … I’m certain if we invited them to, they’d gobble strut right in!

Do you remember this post?  Well … we had this event a few weeks ago and it was nothing less than amazing!  I feel truly honored and blessed to have been a part of it.  A Friend in Need is an organization raising money to help an AIDS stricken area in Africa.  There are 63,000 orphans living on a mountain in the Swaziland area.  63,000!

The founders of AFIN used some of their images from Africa showing the poverty and desperation … and next to it was one of my images, contrasting the image from Africa.  It really helped tell the story.  We had an incredible turnout, raised amazing awareness, and were blessed by the funds received.

I can’t wait to see how God uses me next in this ministry … which just may include a photo session in Africa! ;)

Next up … a lemonade stand!  The girls woke up one morning asking if they could have a lemonade stand.  I gotta admit … I was so not in the mood, but agreed anyway!  And as per usual, I’m so glad I did.  The girls “designed” the stand by themselves, complete with a bowl of lemons and flowers.

We live on a pretty busy state road/highway, and it was nearly impossible to get people to stop.  Can I make a plea to y’all?  If you ever see a lemonade stand … please stop!  The girls were waving, hollering, holding up lemons … it broke my heart to see car after car just drive by.  Some would honk, some would wave, but most drove by.

We had maybe 5 people stop … we charged .50/cup … and the girls made 19ish dollars.  Math doesn’t quite compute?  I let them use my change jar to make change … so someone would give them a 5, they’d put it in their profit jar, but take the 4.50 change out of my jar.  Yeah … I’m sweet like that!

But the best part?  The girls donated their profits to this worthy cause!  So proud of them …

We didn’t end up doing too much crafting this summer … but something we did do and are in love with, are these little prayer books.  We had a linkup at MODsquad recently asking our readers how they teach their daughters to pray.  One particular linkup caught my eye and I couldn’t wait to do it with the girls.

I also really liked this post in using the letters of PRAY to help guide the girls as they’re praying.

We still have lots of pages to fill and I think this prayer calendar is the perfect next step for us!  But for now, they filled in some pages with people they want to pray for or requests they have for themselves {ahem … daddy, looks like one of your girls wants a horse!}.  You can download our printout here {sorry, girl colors only}.

I’m also excited to put together my own prayer calendar … I think it’ll really help me combat the weariness I talked about here.

I think one of my highlights of the summer was this s’more fest and outdoor movie night.  Have y’all seen these giant roasting marshmallows?  They’re almost as big as the candy bar!

We were all cuddled in pj’s and blankets, watching the movie … as it got dark and the 4 year old fell asleep in my arms … I couldn’t help but thank God for blessing me.  The smell of Off and smoke in her hair as I gently kissed her head.  The Big Dipper above us … the kindling embers behind us … if that’s not a feeling of peace, I’m not sure what is.

One sad end of our summer, was the loss of our beloved Ariel.  We got her as a fluffy {Newfoundland} pup … Taylor was just 4 year old.  Her breed is known as the “gentle giant” … and that described our Ariel to a tee.

Ariel was the sweetest girl … she loved water, she loved our girls, and she loved her sibling dogs {we have four others}.

She’s been sick the past couple of years and extremely thin.  We just couldn’t keep any weight on her.  We found out this past summer that she had had some kind of parasite in her system, but we never knew about it.  It ended up being something we couldn’t get rid of.  That wasn’t necessarily the cause of her death, but I think it certainly was a factor.  The last couple of weeks Ariel had gotten weaker and weaker.  And the last few days, she could get up anymore or move.  We talked to Taylor and decided it was the best thing to let her go.  It all seemed to happen so quickly.  We decided around 4:00 Friday night and by 5:00, it was done.  We were able to have a vet come to the house … God forbid, but if you ever find yourself in that place, I wouldn’t recommend it any other way.

We fed the girls dinner and turned on TV.  They were occupied, so had no idea what was going on.  We went around to the other side of the house and had Ariel outside.  We prayed over her {at CJ’s urging} and held her as they administered the injection.  Ariel was terrified of storms, and just as she was passing, thunder clapped in the distance {honest}.

We told the girls the next morning and planned to bury her in the yard.  They didn’t want to see it happen, but we all went out and said a prayer at her burial site.

Yesterday morning, I brought the girls into church with me {they’re usually in their own classes} and when a call was made to come up for prayer, the girls wanted to go up and pray for Ariel.  And last night at prayer time, Hunter informed me that we’re going to pray for Ariel every night from now on.

Just another sweet reminder of the power of prayer and faith.  I couldn’t be happier that my girls have that foundation to stand on.

Sweet Ariel … we’ll miss you girl …

{Taylor & Ariel decorating the Christmas tree. Ariel’s wearing a santa hat :: 2008}

{Wynter & Ariel at the swimming pool :: 2007}

{Piper & Ariel at our lake house :: 2007}

I pray you all had a blessed summer … were able to feel some peace … spend some chill time … enjoy family, friends and sun!

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{image via lobotome}

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Join me today at the MODsquad as I summarize chapters 11-14 of Bringing Up Girls from Dr. James Dobson.

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He was very patient with me and answered all our questions.  He’s put me back on my medication … the same one he put me on just over a year ago.  We talked to him about the pros & cons and he strongly believes this medication is best for me and my symptoms.  He was very respectful of the other doctors I’ve seen {in the past few months} and their opinions.  But when we mentioned that one indicated my symptoms could be because of the type of medication I was on … he let us know how strongly he felt that information was false.  The medication is one of the first on the market, but it’s also the most studied and the most proven.  Bottom line, it’s the right kind for me.

I’ve felt no worse, or no better being off of it.

The spinal tap results, along with my symptoms, optic neuritis, and new clinical symptoms are conclusive of MS.  At my exam today, he noted weakening in my right hand and loss of sensation in both of my toes.  That’s new.

Honestly, he gave me the choice of going back on the medication or not.  He said I could wait 3-4 months, have another exam, see how I’m feeling and decide then.  Or even wait a year {or sooner if new symptoms show up} and repeat the MRI and go from there.  His first choice was for me to start the meds again … but if I wanted to wait, he was okay with that too.

So anyway … I’ll have to do the titration dose again {where I start the meds slow until I’m at my full dose … 7 weeks}.  And have a nurse visit me again.  And here we go again!  :)

Honestly … I’m okay with it all.  I have no fear, worry or anxiety.  I know the injections are sucky and I’m not especially looking forward to that again.  But I had a great summer off of them! I’ve learned things about myself {how to be stronger and stand up for myself} and I think this was really a great process to go through and get some more definitive answers.

I gotta tell ya … I’m exhausted!  So I sure hope I’ve remembered and mentioned everything and articulated myself somewhat clearly.  Most importantly though … thank you for taking this journey with me!  Thank you for your prayers, encouragement and love!!

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