Have you ever suffered the loss of someone dear?
I have. Many. Grandparents, father-in-laws, an unborn baby and most recently, my dear friend Lori. Maybe you remember her? I’ve requested prayers on this site for her many times before.
I’ve known Lori since we were 7 or 8 years old? You know, that friend that you always have tucked into your back pocket? You may not see or talk to everyday and you may lose touch here and there … but every time you reconnect it feels as if no time has ever passed.
We believed Lori would be healed. Miraculously healed. I argued with God many times … “One touch from you Lord is all we ask. One touch and she’s healed. Incurable cancer … cured. What a testimony to your ability Lord.”
But He had other plans for her.
I am saddened. So sad. When I think of her 4 babies {Kaden, 12; Mitchell & Tanner (twins), 10; Halle, 6}. When I think of her husband. When I think of her parents. Her siblings. Her friends. And the hundreds of people she’s inspired. I feel sad. So sad.
At the same time, I feel peace. How is that possible? God.
When I think of Lori, I see her dancing in heaven. I see her pain free and healed. I see her happy, smiling. Body restored. With our Savior. Glorious.
Why wasn’t she healed? It wasn’t God’s plan. Plain and simple. And I accept that.
I don’t understand it. But I accept it.
{image courtesy of front room photography}
A woman who teaches Sunday school at my church had the following to say … particularly pertaining to Lori’s healing.
By standing firm you will gain life. Luke 21:19
True faith is not the capacity to believe that God will work a miracle. It’s the tenacity to believe in God’s character when He fails to do the miracle you wanted. To stand firm in God means to dig in your heels and cling stubbornly to confidence in God’s character, even when He doesn’t meet your obvious need. Others may look at you and say “your God has failed you!” but you say with confidence, “my God has not failed me. He has not met the need that I can see, but He cannot be cruel or make mistakes. He must be meeting a greater need I cannot see.”
We may come to believe in God because of some miraculous act He performs, but He never intends for his children to let their faith remain on that immature level. As soon as you begin to grow spiritually, you will find God seemingly to step away from your life or doing some other things you don’t expect. When that test comes, make up your mind to trust in God’s character.
“I cannot understand what God is doing, but I believe He is a good God and He loves me! I will trust in Him no matter what happens.”
As soon as you make that conscious choice, your life with Jesus will be lifted to an entirely new level. Through His Spirit, you begin to understand that real life doesn’t come through God’s actions, but through God himself. God is looking for people who will believe in Him no matter what. He is testing to see whether you might be one of them. Are you?
I believe we cannot move past anything we’re going through in our lives, if we don’t have trust in the Lord. If we don’t trust in His greater plan.
Let me ask you this … “why wouldn’t you want to trust in Him?” Why would you want hang on to something and work through it yourself? Be it, grief, unforgiveness, anger, jealousy, addiction … and the list goes on …
As Dr. Phil says, “how’s that workin’ for you?”
As you’re clinging for dear life to your problems, feeling and situations … ask yourself, “how’s this working for me?”
Trust me, trust me, trust me … the Lord wants us to trust Him. Trust in His greater plan. Trust in His purpose for us.
We cannot see the whole picture … it’s intended that way. So today … I’m asking you to trust.
I know Lori touched the lives of many, many people. Many people that stood by and watched as she suffered, but remained strong.
I was one of those people. She showed me strength. And I told her so. In fact, I think that was the last conversation I had with her … if there were anything good to come out her situation, one thing I believe is that she showed others how to be brave. She showed me how to be brave … even when I don’t want to.
I’m taking part of Emily’s “Tuesday’s Unwrapped” … every Tuesday, you find a small gift in the everyday, and unwrap it.
I wanted to tie that in today … because in the depths of our grief and sorrow … or hopeless situation … there is hope. I guarantee it. I know it.
The gift I want to unwrap for you … for myself … is faith to trust in a bigger picture. Faith to believe in God’s character and all He has in store for us. The good. The bad. And the ugly.
With that … with that gift comes peace. Just try and tell me you wouldn’t like a little peace in your life today.
See the image above? Of Lori and her family? It was taken at a surprise 40th birthday party that was thrown for her. She’d always wanted a surprise party … and boy, did she get one! You wouldn’t guess it from looking at the photo of her … but she was suffering. Big time, suffering. In pain. Constant pain and suffering.
But no more … and I actually rejoice in that fact. I miss her … man, will I miss her. But knowing she is with her Savior … my Savior … gives me peace that passes all human understanding. {Philippians 4:7}
Lori, I love you more than words. You have taught me so much. Showed me so much. Grace. You are the picture of grace. Your sweet smile. Your gentle voice. Your patient spirit. I pray for these things every morning … and when I do, I’m reminded of you.
My hope and desire, is to carry on your legacy in the way I face my struggles, battles and situations.
I can. not. wait. to hold you again … you truly must be the most radiant angel of all …
19 Comments
Wow. I love what the woman at your church said about trusting God’s character to do the miracle we NEED not necessarily the one we seek or see. We grieved a similar loss a few years ago when my husband’s best friend suddenly passed, leaving one of my closest friends a widow and mother of an 11 week old. I was amazed by how my friend chose to trust God’s character in the midst of her grief, and by her account, she made it through ONLY because of God’s great love and comfort. Yes, He was there, meeting her greater need.
Thanks so much for sharing this Tracie, and may His comfort be yours as you grieve the loss of your dear friend Lori.
Wow, I am amazed at all the valuable nuggets I found in your post today….we need to be reminded to trust, like a child. We need to be reminded that in HIS goodness, He doesn’t always do what we think He should do. In the Psalms, it says (can’t remember the exact verse) “in your faithfulness you have afflicted me”….we must believe that in His faithfulness God brings us thru trials to be more like Him, to be better on the other side. Thanks so much for a beautifully written testimony to that fact.
Suzanne
simply beautiful. thank you for finding the eternal gifts of life and grace in the midst of great loss. Yours is a wise and hopeful perspective.
Your beautiful perspective has brought tears to my eyes. Once again, your grace shines through, even during such a deep loss. In a society where blame is the game, “giving it up” and having the faith to know it’s all under control (albeit out of our hands) is a concept that is foreign to so many. Thank you for the reminder to trust. You and Lori’s family have been in my thoughts and prayers since I found out about her passing. Hugs to you, dear friend.
Beautifully written. And yet as you grieve such a difficult loss you find the bright light of faith. There are so many wonderful things we can learn from her (and your!) strength and trust in Him. We’re thinking of you and sending you and Lori’s family our deepest condolences.
My heart is with you. Working through the grief is so difficlut and I cannot imagine how people do it without God. I am glad that you and your friend’s family are leaning on the Everlating Arm. What a beautiful gift!
You have a special way of touching people’s hearts and giving us the hope we need to make our way in this world. The fact that you’re able to find the good in such a heartbreaking time is a testament to you and your faith. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. You are a gift to everyone who reads your lovely blog!
Nine and a half years ago I lost my best friend (and love of my life at the time) and wish I’d had you to lean on. This message really could have helped me. I hope everyone dealing with a loss of their own somehow find their way to this post. It truly is one filled with healing!
Hugs to you…
as i read these words… i wanted to share them with a friend. her son died ten years ago… and i know she still harbors anger. and my prayer is that she can find the good that God has worked throguh her sons life… and death.
and as i read these words… the loss of my own dear friend came rushing back to me. i saw her husband over the weekend… and her kids… and believe it or not, the good that God has worked for them.
but gosh… it still hurts.
your dear friend… her bravery lives on through you… because i cannot imagine that you wuold have been able to write these words with it.
So sad to hear of Lori’s passing, but truly believing she is out of pain and whole once again.
How I don’t know what to say.
How I am humbled that still in the raw of this, you said so much. With grace and dignity and compassion and the thought to share and heal others.
Please accept the prayers of someone perhaps a stranger to all of you, but a mother, a friend, a woman, a wife. And someone who also lost a best friend.
She too has left me with an emptiness , but with so much courage.
May her family find peace , in time, in Love.
What a sad loss, and what a beautiful family. Her legacy will surely live on in people like you, and in her family. Thanks for sharing this.
So beautifully said. These words obviously came pouring forth from a heart that KNOWS. You know, don’t you? You don’t just think that God might be good, might be trustworthy. You know it. And Lori obviously knew it. And who knows how many people might come to know it because of her legacy? God bless you for your faithfulness in writing this.
Hi Tracie – ever since I was directed to your website by a friend, I’ve been following your blogs. You have such a nice style of writing, and I just generally enjoy reading them! :) This one in particular speaks to me the most. I lost one of my best friends, Amy, to an aneursym two years ago tomorrow (9/16). She was that same type of friend… friends since kindergarten… time could pass when we didn’t connect much, but when we did it’s as though things never changed. I miss her more than words can express. She too left three amazing little children to miss thier mommie, Gabe was 6, Olivia was 4, and Symona was 2. As heart breaking as it was to lose her, and still heartbreaking not to have her here to laugh with or spend time with our kids together, i know that she’s in God’s arms now. Thanks for writing this – it reminds me that no matter what happens in my life, or how tough times can get, i have a healthy family and beautiful children to be thankful for. :)
Lori is surely beaming, knowing we are rejoicing in the Lord, instead of feeling hopeless. She is truly an inspiration to all of us. Not only how did she show us how to live life, but how to live the end of your life. God Bless Lori’s family and friends.
Beautiful words… Inspiring. Meaningful. Transforming. Life changing if they’re embraced. Thank you for being an inspiration and truth teller. I somehow stumbled across your blog and am younger with only one wonderful daughter, but I can’t tell you how inspired I am by your words, your fun and creative ideas of things to do with your daughters, and your love and passion of being a mom. Thank you for blessing me. I will put those words in my journal. May God strengthen you as you’re going through this journey of the unknown. Praying for Lori’s sweet children and husband. May God richly bless your beautiful family and life.
tracie.. so sorry to hear about Lori. I know she will be missed by many !
I imagine you will speak beautifully tonight, I don’t want to say good luck -
but you know what I mean…. I hope it is a wonderful service as I know she
was a wonderful friend of yours… your in my thoughts!! take care xo
i am so sorry for your loss! what a beautiful post! i am so glad that you and lori have such a strong faith! i couldnt imagine my life without Him! i will say a prayer for her sweet family!
I am so sorry for your loss Tracie. So very sorry.
Accept my sympathy for the transition of your dear friend to our final destination at this time.I pray for God to continue to sustain, uphold and comfort you all on a daily basis.We thank God that you, your friend and her family know exactly where she is and pray for any members of all your extended families who do not know Christ,that this will be a turning point experience as they see you all “Trusting in the Lord.”