You know you want one!

{image via lobotome}

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Join me today at the MODsquad as I summarize chapters 11-14 of Bringing Up Girls from Dr. James Dobson.

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I had an appointment with my neurologist this afternoon.  My original one … the one who diagnosed me with MS just over a year ago now.

He was very patient with me and answered all our questions.  He’s put me back on my medication … the same one he put me on just over a year ago.  We talked to him about the pros & cons and he strongly believes this medication is best for me and my symptoms.  He was very respectful of the other doctors I’ve seen {in the past few months} and their opinions.  But when we mentioned that one indicated my symptoms could be because of the type of medication I was on … he let us know how strongly he felt that information was false.  The medication is one of the first on the market, but it’s also the most studied and the most proven.  Bottom line, it’s the right kind for me.

I’ve felt no worse, or no better being off of it.

The spinal tap results, along with my symptoms, optic neuritis, and new clinical symptoms are conclusive of MS.  At my exam today, he noted weakening in my right hand and loss of sensation in both of my toes.  That’s new.

Honestly, he gave me the choice of going back on the medication or not.  He said I could wait 3-4 months, have another exam, see how I’m feeling and decide then.  Or even wait a year {or sooner if new symptoms show up} and repeat the MRI and go from there.  His first choice was for me to start the meds again … but if I wanted to wait, he was okay with that too.

So anyway … I’ll have to do the titration dose again {where I start the meds slow until I’m at my full dose … 7 weeks}.  And have a nurse visit me again.  And here we go again!  :)

Honestly … I’m okay with it all.  I have no fear, worry or anxiety.  I know the injections are sucky and I’m not especially looking forward to that again.  But I had a great summer off of them! I’ve learned things about myself {how to be stronger and stand up for myself} and I think this was really a great process to go through and get some more definitive answers.

I gotta tell ya … I’m exhausted!  So I sure hope I’ve remembered and mentioned everything and articulated myself somewhat clearly.  Most importantly though … thank you for taking this journey with me!  Thank you for your prayers, encouragement and love!!

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My sweet girl.  This is Taylor starting 2nd grade … yesterday eight years ago.  Life was simple then … easier.  Small worries, small hurts, small fears.

But she grew.

And now we have big worries, big hurts, and big fears.

Taylor had been in the same school since kindergarten, but in 8th grade she started having problems.  It’s a long post, but you can read more about it here.  Her freshman year, we decided to send her to a new school and you can read about that here.  And while she liked her new school, she definitely had her ups and downs.  Overall, she had an okay year and made a couple of new friends.

So why have I decided to homeschool her?  So many thoughts and emotions, that I’m actually going to put this into two posts.  Today’ll be about Taylor and why I feel it’s best for her.  Next week’ll be about CJ and how God is in the miracle business.

Bottom line :: I want to offer Taylor the chance to succeed.  And I don’t think that can happen {for her} in a regular school environment.

Another bottom line :: It’s so important to understand who your children are and meet them there.  I’m not jumping on a homeschooling bandwagon here.  I’m just recognizing that Taylor needs more and I want to give her that opportunity.

Academically, Taylor didn’t have a super great year … in fact, I don’t think she got over 2.0 until the 4th quarter.  In March we had her go through a series of tests with a counselor.  We found she has ADD and some minor learning disabilities … one of which is an auditory issue.  In a classroom environment, she has a hard time hearing and processing information … given her ADD issues on top of that, she’s got some challenges in a standard classroom.

Socially, Taylor doesn’t have much self-esteem, she’s not super outgoing and quite honestly, has a hard time making friends.  No one was mean and bullying her … but they didn’t go out of their way to include her either.  And seriously, not the end of the world and something she could definitely get through and deal with.

But when her counselor met with me in May and asked me to, “think outside of the box in educating Taylor.”  Because she’s currently, “just getting by.”  It really spoke to my heart.  Actually, it tore my heart apart.

What I’ve learned is that girls are quick to believe bad things about themselves.  Seriously … think about us as women … when someone compliments you, do you say “thank you” or do you shrug it off and end up saying something negative about yourself?

Anyway … when young girls think negative things about themselves and say these negative things, they become strongholds in their lives.  Taylor has many, many, many negative strongholds she believes about herself … and while she’s sitting in a classroom 8 hours a day hearing from teachers, “You could do better if you tried.  You need to apply yourself more.  You just need to get motivated.”  And then socially, she’s “feeling” no one wants to be her friend …

These strongholds grip her even more.

My goal for this year?  Through intentional parenting, prayer, faith, encouragement, and love … we are going to break these strongholds.  Of course we’ll educate her too and I strongly believe she’ll start seeing success in her academics, which in turn will help feed and change the way she views herself.

Children are not a one size fits all.  And I just can’t stress enough, how important it is to know each one of them as individuals.  Open your eyes, your ears, your heart … to understand what each of them need as individuals.

Parenting takes sacrifice.  Love is sacrifice.  This isn’t going to be easy … for any of us, Taylor included.  But I love my girl enough that I don’t want to look back someday knowing, that because I couldn’t make a hard decision, a sacrifice, a risk … that I ended up leaving a child behind.

This post is linked up with Emily at Chatting at the Sky

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Photography
Lenses for your phone?!  Holy coolness!  Check it out … is it my birthday yet?

Update on my results
I’ve heard back from 2 doctors.  The NYC doc confirmed I do have MS and that if I want to continue my treatment in NY, he’ll refer me to a good specialist who would put me on a good treatment program.  I also heard back from the Chicago doc {who undiagnosed me}, doesn’t believe the report … he doesn’t think it’s correct.  And that I should see him in December for more blood work and another MRI.  I’ll just be keeping my thoughts on that whole sitch to myself.  But yeah.  I won’t be seeing him again.

I haven’t heard back from our neurologist friend.  And I have an appointment with my original MS doc {who diagnosed me} next week.  It’s just my regular follow-up appt. that I made before any of this craziness started and I never canceled.  So I’m planning on going, talking to him, bringing my report and explaining what I’ve been doing the last few months and see what his thoughts are.  I’ll keep you posted!

Homeschooling
I’ll share more on this next week … but yeah … just added it as a category on my blog.  Oy!

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